Margaret was the first person to email me once I started The Smiths Project and she was a constant help to me in any way she could. Her and I became fast friends and I consider her friendship to be one of the great things that came out of that project. Ever the die-hard Smiths fan, she sent me lists of Smiths songs *in the order by date written* and told me THAT'S the order I should post my versions. She's the one who made youtube videos of all 71 Smiths Project songs and uploaded them. She was my proofreader. She asked me constantly if there were ways she could help with computer "grunt work" for marketing and promotion. I worried that I'd asked too much of her but she continued to ask for more things to do and said it made her feel better. I honestly don't know what I would have done without her in those days when I was singing ten hours a day and stressing out the other fourteen.
When she came to San Jose, my son and I met her for dinner. My 4 year old kept confusing the name Margaret with Morrissey, and I'll never forget her amused smile every time he said, "Hey Morrissey!" and babbled something at her.
She loved animals more than people and she dedicated her life to helping them. She was a hero to them and to me. She helped me through the last few months of my cat Marzi's battle with cancer, for which I will always be grateful.
But mostly, Margaret Dale loved Morrissey with all of her heart. She lived for Morrissey. When she heard Moz had been sighted in LA, she dropped everything and drove 4 hours, straight to The Cat and Fiddle, and just waited. Morrissey did not disappoint. She said he was kind and made all her nervousness disappear. I'll never forget her text messages after meeting him, so excited and full of joy. It was quite literally, the moment she had waited for her whole life. The next day, I dedicated this Smiths Project song to her:
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Thursday, September 9, 2010
Is It Really So Strange?
I will dedicate this song to Miss Dale who was supposed to go north, but traveled south again... and ended up meeting Morrissey last night- a lifelong dream of hers. Thank you for all your support of my project! -------------------------------------------------------------------------
I feel privileged to have watched her opening her heart to new friends, loves and passions over the past few years. She lived her life the way she wanted, with deep love, ambition, understanding, compassion and truth, and without fear.
Rest well, Margaret. I will miss you the rest of my days.
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ReplyDeleteI didn't realize how well you knew Margaret and how much she had done for The Smiths Project. Alex (Happy Martyr) mentioned a similar outpouring of support. The rest of us didn't get to see that side of Margaret. It's a shame because she was friendly, but didn't have many friends. I got the impression that's how it was in her daily life as it was amongst the Irregular Regulars. Less than two weeks ago, she was kissing Morrissey's cheek in front of us in San Diego. It's uncommon even for a Morrissey fan who gets onstage to get beyond a hug or a handshake.
ReplyDeleteOnce you get in the venue, things are tense because you try to work your way to the rail/stage and then the lights go down and you wait for KY and then you wait for the videos and then you wait for the flashlight in the darkness signalling Morrissey is about to make his way from backstage. So it's small talk and drumming your fingers on the stage and looking around gauging security. The most I ever spoke with her was the Davis show because we stood next to each other and all I can think of is how happy she was that night. She told me she was a UC Davis alumni so that gig was special to her. She recommended cat flea medicines and I told her she was a skinny minnie these days (she blushed). In the melee of the encore, I saw her leave my right to go onstage and she got that hug. I didn't see her after that. It didn't seem like she was that happy (on FB) in Seattle, but I'd like to remember her for that last night in Davis.
Thank you posting this blog about her. It made me cry when I didn't cry when I heard about her death. Then I read Morrissey's statement and was bawling. The acknowlegement from both of you and Alex must make her soul so happy.
Margaret was shy and felt that she was not "an interesting person" so she kept people at a distance for fear of saying the wrong things. Her true heart and soul came out through online communications. Over time, I saw her get brave and make friends in person, travel to Europe, and really dive into new experiences. She died a happier person than she was even two years ago. Her love of helping others, both animals and people, and her fierce loyalty of Morrissey, and most recently Happy Martyr, were the joys that kept her going.
ReplyDeleteI will miss our FB chats and emails so much...
I just last week found out about Margaret. I'm devastated. I'm unsure how she died or when. I have been texting her off and on over the last couple of years with no response, not knowing. It does sound like it was within 3 to 6 months of seeing her. Margaret and I used to date. We weren't a "thing", but had a thing for each other and shared some very special moments. I'm a single dad, and a big part of me being part of a package deal is what kept me from taking things with Margaret further. Margaret was a great person. Loving, passionate, smart, witty, and though we weren't 2 peas in a pod, we complemented each other. Despite all that, I couldn't see her as a step mom to my child. One thing she had said to me that really hurts is "how come I can't get anyone to love me?'. We never got to the “I love you” point. I told her that she is very lovable and that she should stop beating herself up about it. Because of her hectic schedule and mine to a degree, we were off and on. She offered to take me to the UK and Israel to see Morrisey but I couldn't because of work and my daughter. She worked out...a lot! I told her I didn't like how hard she was pushing herself. It wasn't healthy. We debated over her vegetarian diet and I told her I blamed Morrisey. No wine either, so we were limited to sushi and flavored vodka. She told me a little about her family. From her perspective, she felt like she was not treated well, didn't feel she was accepted and was even verbally abused about her appearance and being so awkward. I didn't pry, not my place. I saw her as pretty. Yes, she was different but there is much beauty in that. I'm not a big Morrisey fan, but she let me know ahead of time what to expect. Her plans to go back to school for that internship program, I think in Davis...when I didn't hear back from her anymore I assumed maybe she moved or something. Sorry for the choppy writing. I'm at work and the lab is rather busy. I’m torturing myself a bit as to the “what if’s” here. This is so sad.
DeleteI am pleased to hear Margaret did end up with some friends. As her mom, I have wondered. We have found out many things about her since her passing. She tended not to keep in contact with me or her siblings.
ReplyDeleteDo you know if there was more than one copy of The Words of Morrissey?
Margaret was my go to emergency Vet. She was wonderful with my cats and always took time to explain and answer questions. The first time I met her was in the middle of the night when she answered the door at the clinic.. She was warm and caring and I laugh when I recall that I thought she was the receptionist at first. We had many a nighttime chat over various cats and I will miss her tremendously, as will all the animals she did so much to help.
DeleteJanice,
DeleteJust to let you know - I copied what you wrote about Margaret as it was very meaningful to me. Subsequently, I shared it with our pastor and he ended up reading it as part of her eulogy. Thank you for the insights. They were particularly welcomed by her father.
Thank you again.
KE
My condolences to you... It must be strange to discover new sides of her through the internet. She did have some wonderful friends who loved her very much and miss her deeply now.
ReplyDeleteAre you referring to the statement made by Morrissey? It's here: http://true-to-you.net/morrissey_news_130313_01
My heart goes out to you in deepest sympathy. She will always be in my heart.
-Janice
This is a tragic story. People seem to be so afraid to reach out to someone like Margaret Dale as they pull away from their friends and families. It's awful that her family were unable to reach out to her and battle through her reticence to stay in contact with them. Certainly this must be a source of tremendous anguish for them now.
ReplyDeleteCapitalism is a brutally exploitative system all over the world, but it's especially brutal here in the US, where the US capitalist class' inhumane credo of "rugged individualism" preys on people like Margaret and destroys every vestige of the community in its mad drive for profits. If you aren't "successful" under capitalism it's "your fault" because you aren't strong enough or willing to be ruthless enough to backstab your way to the "top". Delicate people like Margaret find themselves isolated and despairing in this ruthless dystopian American present and simply can't keep struggling to hold their heads above water for ever. Traveling all over the country in pursuit of Morrissey must have cost her a lot of money; how could she afford to do it? Employers and landlords don't care how sweet a person you are; if you miss too much time from work or are late with the rent, they kick you to the curb. There is more sympathy among Americans for the fate of dogs tied to train tracks and left to die than there is in the plight of families thrown out of their homes due to the collapse of the housing bubble: it's "their fault" they can't afford to pay their mortgages; their neighbors hate them because the foreclosure drives down "property values" in the neighborhood! What a vicious society this is; no wonder so many sensitive and self-effacing youth commit suicide in the United States every year while their friends and families passively delude themselves into believing that their friend, son or daughter would never take their own life. It's a tragic state of affairs that we believe we all must change for the better, and soon.
You've written a beautiful tribute to this woman. We were looking up articles on Morrissey's wonderful bouquet of dead rats for Maggot Thatcher and found this. Your and Morrissey's kind words on *this* Margaret's suicide renews our respect for him and won our respect for you as well. Thank you.
Independent Workers Party of Chicago
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Delete"Independent" Workers Party? Seems a bit contradictory. Perhaps one day you'll discover that you actually worship, live and desire capitalism - and once you give-in to any ideas of socialism, you have deprived yourself and all that you imposed it upon of true independence and liberty - perpetuating the victim mentality.
ReplyDeleteDo you believe that you have the right to think on your own, or should your thoughts be governed by a handful of others?
With all due respect, this is a post in memory of Margaret Dale, not a platform for your ideals. You did not know her and I would ask you to please take your off-topic musings elsewhere. Thank you. -Janice
DeleteI have a copy of the book she published of her letters to Morrissey, titled, "Dear Morrissey." She was a very talented writer and I am interested in getting the permission from the family and publisher of the book to perhaps adapt a documentary film on her life through her own words in these letters.
ReplyDelete